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What age do you think people should have sex? I'm 16 years old. My sister, who's 14, is completely sex-obsessed. She's always going about how people excuse boys from being horny because of their hormones and stuff, but act sexist and call girls sluts or whores when they're interested in sex, and girls should be just as allowed to have sex when they want. My mom keeps saying we shouldn't have sex before we're in college. Personally I think there is no "right age" and that everyone should do it when they're mature enough, in a committed relationship, and emotionally ready. But while I think 14 is obviously not too young to be thinking about sex, my sister keeps saying she's going to have it when she wants, like in a year or so. (She asked a question about the same thing: answers.yahoo.com/question/index;… But she exaggerated ridiculously and made it sound like I'm a jealous cruel older sister, which hurt me very, very deeply. A lot of the people who answered were like "She's probably jealous, they're both stupid prudes, your sister seriously is pathetic and has no life." I would NEVER be jealous of my sister for something like that. They made me sound like a shallow obnoxious b*tch. And I actually have a biggest chest than hers. But anyway, those responses really hurt my feelings, and rather than defend me, my sister is like "Um well they're right.")
So anyway, do you think having sex as a young teenager is okay? I'd like to hear all your thoughts. | | I don't think there is anything wrong with teens having sex. My first time was at 14 and it was the right age for me. You might think about helping your sister out and getting her a vibrator so she doesn't get into trouble. | Losing virginity at 13? Okay, what's your opinion, so is 13 too young to lose your virginity? I honestly think age has nothing to do with it. It's all about maturity. I'm 13, and I'm a hell of a lot more mature than many 18 year olds. I'm not saying i'm going to have sex at 13, but i'm saying i get strong sexual feeling sometimes, and if i was actually in love with a guy, would it be so wrong to make love to him just because of my age? I get horny, i watch porn, and i masturbate. I'm just as physically ready for sex as any 18 year old, so don't give me that. I'm not planning on losing my virginity at 13 just to feel mature, or be "cool", or anything. I'm planning on waiting for a committed relationship, when i'm in love, and i'll know when it feels right. I dont even know what love is yet.. but that has nothing to do with my age. Lots of 13 year olds are legit more in love than you and your spouse. And i acknowledge the risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. I, at 13 have the same risk of that at an adult. And i'm smart enough to use protection and get birth control (which my mom said she'd get for me if i asked). Lots of 18 year olds are sluts, and aren't financially stable enough to have a baby. So why is age even a factor? I appreciate all answers! | I think most people say to wait until you're 18 because you're a legal adult and can take the necessary steps to take care of a baby on your own if you have no support otherwise. You can get a good job at 18, you can sign a lease on your own apartment, you can marry the baby's father (if you so choose), you can even go to the family welfare office and sign up for your own food stamps, WIC, and Medicaid.
Take it from someone who has been where you are. I had an older boyfriend that "talked" me into sex. I know you think you're ready, but I didn't know my body well enough to be ready. I had 2 partners before I met the man that is now my husband. That may not seem super slutty, but I sure as hell felt like it. I can say truthfully that they basically used me for their own purposes...mine were never met if ya know what I mean. My husband was a virgin when we met and I'm the only partner he's had...we were 15 and 16.
If you find someone who you think you love and is a good person, go for it. Just be safe. Use condoms, get on birth control and save up some $$ for Plan-B for just in case situations. I am 25 and have a 3 year old little boy. He is a handful now...I don't know what I would have done if I'd had him him high school. | Opening up our relationship in college? I've been with my gf for 7 months (she's 20, I'm 21). We're both really sexual, and had sexual histories when we got together. She was never the hook up type, or so she claims, although she's by far the horniest girl I've ever met.
We've both been faithful to each other, and up until very recently she's claimed to not even be comfortable picturing another man inside her.
We've both begun college as freshmen this semester. I'm going the community college route to start, but she's going to the local university. She's living on campus, I got an apartment ~30mins from hers.
I love her and can see myself settling down with her for the long run. Yes she's emotional and a flirt, but I chalk that up to being a 20-year-old girl. Her good qualities greatly outweigh those negatives: she's a great cook, amazing in bed, my friends and family love her, she lives to take care of me (cleaning, laundry, massages, etc), she respects my space when I wanna go out with my boys, respects my wishes, is a sports fan, etc.
There's the dilemma. I know we both have 4 years of college ahead of us. It is nearly impossible to maintain a faithful, monogamous relationship in college. We're young, the temptation to cheat will be there, etc. I don't want to tie her down and make her resent me for it, much like I don't want to be tied down yet either. But I don't want to break up with her just to get some college sluts.
We've talked about it, and we both agree that we're secure enough in our relationship and mature enough that we can handle opening it up a bit. Basically, we're not restricting ourselves to each other sexually during college, although at the end of the day, we're still together. We decided that, in moderation, some side booty should be harmless and, in fact, improve our relationship. We decided that we MUST adhere to a few rules to make it work:
1. We ALWAYS ask permission. If she or I meet someone we want to spend the night with, or someone booty calls us, we have to get the other's permission. If sex happens without permission, it's considered cheating and grounds for break up. If permission is denied, that's final. No begging or pleading.
2. If at any time either of us feels even slightly uncomfortable, or if we feel like side sex is ruining us, it stops immediately and we go back to just playing with each other.
3. Absolutely no oral. This means no giving or receiving. Oral is more intimate IMO than intercourse, and should be saved for each other, not strangers.
4. Condoms at all times. We went to the store together and bought a 36-pack and took 18 each. We never wear them with each other, so we will only be wearing them for hook ups. This is also kind of a measuring tool - those 18 should last each of us the school year. That's roughly 2-3 hookups each month. We both hate them, but we both feel much more comfortable with this arrangement if we strap up. This was her idea.
5. No exes. Pretty obvious. Fcking an ex is playing with fire.
6. We have to call within 5 minutes of finishing. After she finishes with a guy, she has to call me immediately. Same for me. We can exchange our I love you's and it kind of brings us back from our experience and back to the only important person in our life, each other.
7. Sex must be JUST sex. Nothing kinky - no toys, no exhibitionism, nothing too sexy. Just dick, pussy, and a bed.
8. Only 1-on-1, no threesomes/foursomes/ganbangs. Any side sex is meant to be quick, fck and run, just to get the job done.
Any violation of the above rules is considered cheating, and grounds for immediate break up. Basically what this is for isn't because we're horny sex addicts (which, well, we are). It's to try and weather the relationship minefield that is college. The main thing that breaks couples up during college is cheating and temptation. We figure if we can embrace that temptation, and give into it in moderation, while still maintaining our relationship, it will accomplish a few things. First, we'll be less stressed. Second, we won't feel like we're being held back from enjoying college and enjoying being young. You're only young once - if we're as in love as we think we are, we'll have the rest of our lives to be committed and faithful. It's stupid to throw away college and our youth pretending to be a married couple.
We've both already gotten side action. She did it last night, I did it tonight. We had completely open discussion both before and after, and we even helped each other pick out what we would wear. She says she's 100% ok with it. I'm about 80/20. We'll see how it goes.
Long, I know. We're not breaking up or stepping back. We're maintaining our relationship, just the same as before, but with a slight upgrade. But what do you think of this? Any relevant experience? Does this seem like the best of both worlds, or a disaster waiting to happen?
Serious replies only please. | | I can see why you are trying to make it work this way, i just really hope you both keep following the rules and remain happy together. It takes a strong relationship to manage this but you seem to have thought this out maturely. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years and we now live together, we remained only faithful to each other, mainly cos i never wanted anyone but him the temptation was never there and he didn't want anyone else,our lifestyles were very different to what your describe, we were each others first. and that worked for us and we now live side by side and couldn't be happier. but if you have the strengh i can see this working out and i really hope it does. | Am I right or the ex-gay man? Let me give you a brief explanation about me first. A couple of months ago I came out to my mother. My dad didn't really care but he didn't like it, and my mom went crazy, mad, depresses and pretty much every bad emotion. She thought I was ill, so she talked to me about taking me to a therapist I told her the idea was crazy, so she said that I could at least go to an ex-gay ministry for her. The ministry is Exodus International by the way. Now the reason why I didn't refuse to go was because one thing I know is that to better understand your argument, you must know your opponents argument. So I decided to go to see what this group of people had to say, and I sure heard many things. It turned out they know people don't choose to be gay, but are made gay by life experiences. Their most common explanation is that if a boy doesn't have a father, he most likely become gay.
SO let me get on with my question. I tried drawing a connection to all the men in the ministry to see why they think the gay life is bad and is to blame for them having a bad life. Most of them tell me that the gay life is just a bunch of sex, drugs, parties, clubs, sex clubs, and relationship that are just about sex and last no longer than two months. However, I realized that it wasn't them being gay why they are screwed up, but it's their choices. They chose have sex with men who they just met at a club,they chose do drugs, they chose to go to those sex clubs, so I'm confident to say that, they ****** them selves up. I have said that when they say the "gay lifestyle is bad," if what they really meant to say "my lifestyle was bad." Not every gay guy in the world lives the same life, not every gay guy chooses to do stupid things, and not every gay guy does drugs. I told them my opinion about what they tell me but they don;t take me seriously because I'm 16, bisexual, and haven;t lived the gay life to see how sinful it is. They say I seem stubborn and arrogant which I can completely understand since everything they say, the whole room agrees with them except me.
So by what I have said, do you think it's their own fault why they feel pathetic, sad, and lonely, or do you think it's actually the "gay lifestyle" to blame? Feel free to write some other stuff like your own experience, statement or whatever else you got to say.
I'm going to say this, I do think that most gay guys are a bunch of sluts when they are young. I'm sorry if this is insulting to some of you but from what I have seen in school, and heard from my friends who have a lot of gay friends, it seems like it's true. I know that there does come a time when they start to mature though, and I'm also aware that they are some young gay men who aren't a bunch horny guys.
These men at the ministry aren't bad though. I think they just don't seem to understand that it was their choices which is to blame and not being gay. | I think you have it exactly right.
There is no such thing as THE "gay lifestyle". The idea that all gay men are a bunch of sex-obsessed, drug-using, promiscuous party animals who can't maintain a long-term relationship is a stereotype that dates back from at least the 1960's when almost every gay man was closeted, and the only place to meet other gay men was in gay bars which could be raided by the police at any time. Being in a long-term relationship was difficult or impossible because everyone was terrified of being outed and losing their job, their family, and so on if they were found out.
Then came the "Sexual Revolution" for both straights and gay people, and the "Gay Liberation" movement of the late 60's and 1970's and all of a sudden, after decades of anti-gay hatred and repression, gay men finally felt free to loosen up and have some fun.
What the "ex-gay" guys don't realize is that during the 1970's (before the AIDS epidemic hit in the 1980's), EVERYONE -- straight and gay -- was having no-strings-attached sex, partying, going to discos, and so on. But somehow that's the image that a lot of people specifically have about the "gay lifestyle" even to this day, 30 or 40 years later. Its an outdated image, to say the least -- but one that at least some gay men feel drawn to. There are probably WAY more straight people living the same promiscuous, drug-and-alcohol-fueled, party life -- but you never hear anyone pointing to them and saying "the straight life is bad".
The "ex-gays" at the ministry made their choices in life, and now they regret it. That's fine. Their mistake is in blaming their homosexuality for "making" them be that way, instead of taking adult responsibility for the choices THEY made to drink, do drugs, have promiscuous sex, and so on. | Need dating advice.? since the end of the school year i told everyone i ws moving and i probably am. since i did this everyone who i was close friends with left me. no contacting me or aything. now i haven't talked to a girl on the phone or seen one in like months. but really wanna have sex or some kind of sex or something like that. i dont wanna hook up with some random girl who is a slut that i meet but ive been extremely horny lately and can't seem to find the cause. 14 years old. ive blamed some of this on hormones taking over rite now but im mature enough to realize that and i honestly dont beleive thats it. im kinda in a cituation...do i wait for high school to start (freshman) and wait till i find the one. or do i do the nearest girl i can find. be serious i dont need the bullshit in my life atm ok thanks. | | 14 lol!!!!! Well you sound like a winner. Don't you own a dog or something? Why don't you take up a sport like boys should do. You are looking to get a std before you hit 16!!! or worse get some girl prego and be a loser father. Please we have enough dirt bags in this world why start so soon. I mean come on be serious. Think with your brain not you under developed member. Plus you don't want a slut huhh. sounds to me you are one in the making. Karma. | How to be confident and desirable? I was diagnosed with Histrionic Personality Disorder about a year ago, I'm only 15, and normally I'd say it doesn't affect my life, until I look back on my reputation.
I LOVE attention. Any attention is good for me. I want everyone to look at me, I'd prefer all the girls to be jealous and all the guys to be horny, but unfortunately it doesn't work this way.
I always wanted to live my life like it's a movie, everything revolving around me.
Life doesn't work this way.
I'm about to be a sophomore in HS, and I have bad reputation for dressing and "being" a slut, even though I'm not the DEFINITION of a slut.
I just want to approach this need in a more mature manner, and I'm wondering
How can i be DESIRABLE, WANTED, and CONFIDENT? WITHOUT looking like a vvhore? | | the rosetta stone taught me gibberish and ebonics! | I'm in love with him. (This is quite long, be aware.)? I'll start from the beginning.
On the second day of school, I started to have a thing with "Austin". After school, we'd chill. Mostly just makeout, sometimes he'd finger me and i'd give him a handjob but nothing went further. After a few months of doing that, I went to his house for a change. He kept begging and begging to have sex. I said no the first few times, but I became really horny and eventually just said yes. I was a virgin, and he had a girlfriend who was very physco, obsessed and in love with him. He told me when he was with me, he was always happy. When he was with her, he didn't feel anything. He said I was perfect, beautiful, and the one for him. He said I made him the happiest he's ever been. *His girlfriend also beat the **** out of him.* But deep in my heart, I KNEW he was in love with her. I knew it. They were dating for 11 months. Anyways, as stupid as I am, I kept having sex with him. Two times almost everyday, or even more. I'd sneak him in before school, and we'd have sex. We told each other i love you and all that ****. My parents also thought we were dating, so we eventually just told them we were. We went out to eat, he slept over, blah blah blah. It was kinda like we we're dating, but just no one at school knew. Except for my best friend..."Carley" We went over to his house once and got drunk, we had a four some with one of his friends. His friend eventually hated us, for no reason and told the whole school. His girlfriend never believe one bit of it. Except she always hated me. Always called me ugly. "Austin" said she was jealous of me because she saw text messages between us. Anyways, about three weeks ago, his girlfriend told him she was pregnant...with, of course, his baby. That was right after she hit him multiple times in the face, (at school) because there was a picture of me on his phone. He 'broke up' with her, and said he wanted to date me. But whenever I went on facebook, his girlfriends status's would be " I love my boo , Austin . <3" and He would write things on her wall like, "I love you boo . " Three days ago, I talked to Austin about it all. I told him I was in love with him, and that he should be a father to his guy. I also told him I don't want to be friends, or anything above friends. i told him I was done with him. His reply was "Wow. K. Ima miss you but w/e. It was fun while it lasted." Today...His girlfriend rode the bus with us. On purpose, they made out the whole bus ride. I wanted to break down right there. But no one knew about us.
I just want to know...if i should let Austin go. I know his girlfriends not pregnant, because she does that all the time to him so he'll stay with her. I just can't handle all the depression i'm going through right now because of Austin. :/
And this is a really big shocker...but i'm only in the 8th grade.
Don't call me a slut, skank, hoe, whore, etc. I'm supposed to be in 9th and i'm 15 years old.
I'm really mature for my age, anyways. So if you have anything negative to say, don't even bother.
I'm not in the mood. | " JUMP IN THE WATER IS LOVELY "
Good Luck with it | I need help. I also need the rules and agreements of friends with benefits.? please take the time to read over my question
i would thankfully accept a mature and non-critical answer.
OK let me explain myself
he is the most gorgeous most sexiest boy i have ever seen in my life he flirted with me almost every day in class very sexually ,i pretended like i thought nothing of it (stupid boy)
inside i wanted him to touch me and kiss on me..he was absolutely angel looking drop dead GOREGEOUS
i paid little attention to him..im no stupid girl
on the last day of school he'd said he'd miss me very much i ignored that
recently i've become very horny all i can think about is sex im ready for sex..im not too young either
so i thought about it and that i only had one life to live i wanted to have sex with him why not ill probaly never get a chance with a boy as amazingly hot as him, relationship or not i don't care for a relationship
i texted him out of the blue and told him how i felt he wanted me back
my ex bestfriend was crazy in love with him but he used her like a kleenix
my other friend recently told me that he comes over her house alot and they hook up occasionally
i acted like i didnt care but inside i was incredibly JEALOUS--i know it suks being a woman
anyway we made a plan to do a someone fwb relationship and he'd come over wednesday and you know what. i'm sure i want him..and he wants me and i wouldn't be a slut in my own eyes since i have no real feeling for him you can say id be getting used but we'd both be using eachother..am i right. and i don't ever do this he's an exception because he is basically non human he is finer than any guy on this planet. he's a virgin and so am i--i know aren't i lucky lol well give me your advice with this and don't say DONT DO IT and also tell me the rules and agreements on being friends with benefits..i haven't txted him at all today because i told him i wasnt clingy and annoying and i didnt get sprung..i think i should wait to talk with him untill im in the mood since there really is no other point in this relationship.. | It seems you've already made the decision of what you want to do, so I'll try to help as best I can. I don't know if there are different "rules" for FWB when you're in school, but in adulthood, it is supposed to be something that is handled with responsibility, maturity, and discretion.
In short, ALWAYS use protection, no exceptions, and still have yourself tested for STDs regularly anyway. Don't use a FWB situation to try and get closer to someone you have feelings for. Don't get too involved in each other's lives, gossip, drama, etc. And don't broadcast to other people that you're sleeping together. It's supposed to be private for the sake and peace of mind of both partners.
Although this is supposed to be a casual relationship, more often than not, they become very complicated, and Oscar-worthy drama. The fact that you said you were incredibly JEALOUS already without even being with him yet, should be a red flag to you. And although I foresee this quickly erupting into a molten hot mess, you have to do what you feel is right for you. Just remember to look out for yourself, because chances are no one else in type of situation will. Good luck! |
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